In the column below are all the different kinds of cheese mentioned in Monty
Python’s “Cheese Shop” sketch of November 30th 1972 (3rd season), starring John Cleese and Michael Palin. Writers
were John Cleese and Graham Chapman.
here are
over a thousand different named cheeses produced worldwide; France
alone turns out a bit under 500. Thus the list below represents only about 3%
of what’s available. I’ve noted fictitious cheeses with *. In real life, some
of the more obscure/precious varieties include Salers du Buron, Noyers-le-Val
(AKA Cendré d’Argonne), Trouville, Ourde, Welsh Gorau Glas,
Castelmagno, Bitto della Valtellina, and Caciocavallo Podolico. The last is
particularly noteworthy for its rarity and expense. The cheese is laboriously
handmade and derives solely from the March-to-June milk of free range
Podoliche cattle who feast on blueberries, cornelian cherries, wild
strawberries, juniper and other treats that all impart their aromas to the
finished product.
Though quite well known, the rarest French cheese is said by
many to be Ossau-Iraty, an unpasteurized ewe’s milk semi-soft made by Basques.
Bleu de Termignon is also prestigious and very rare, said to come exclusively from eight
or ten Alpine cows of the mahogany Tarentais breed owned by a woman in her nineties.
Bitto, from the Italian Alps, typically retails for around $25 per pound but has
brought as much as twice that. It’s made at an altitude of at least 1500 meters (5000
feet) from milk drawn only between June and September. The wheels normally age for 70
days, but bon vivants have sought out and enjoyed Bitto as much as ten years
old.
Liederkranz is extinct (though Schlosskranz Herz is a
close approximation) and Single Gloucester nearly so. Most people assume
Limburger, last on the list, is the most evil smelling; but actually
beer-washed Vieux Boulogne from Normandy usually earns that distinction. Époisses de Bourgogne is also pretty rank.
Personally I’m waiting for cows to be genetically modified to produce milk of
other mammals. Anteater, dormouse, or killer whale cheese might be
just the thing.
Red Leicester
Tilsit
Caerphilly
Bel Paese
Red Windsor
Stilton
Emmenthal
Gruyère
Norwegian Jarlsburg
Liptauer
Lancashire
White Stilton
Danish Blue
Double Gloucester
Cheshire
Dorset Blue Vinney (though said to be nearly extinct)
Brie
Roquefort
Pont l’Évêque
Port Salut
Savoyard
Saint-Paulin
Carré de l’Est
Bresse Bleu
Boursin
Camembert
Gouda
Edam
Caithness
Smoked Austrian
Japanese Sage Derby* (though Sage Derby exists)
Wensleydale
Greek Feta
Gorgonzola
Parmesan
Mozzarella
Pipo Crème
Danish Fynbo
Czech sheep’s milk (Abertam)
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese* (no beavers native to Venezuela!)
Cheddar
Ilchester
Limburger
here are
over a thousand different named cheeses produced worldwide; France
alone turns out a bit under 500. Thus the list below represents only about 3%
of what’s available. I’ve noted fictitious cheeses with *. In real life, some
of the more obscure/precious varieties include Salers du Buron, Noyers-le-Val
(AKA Cendré d’Argonne), Trouville, Ourde, Welsh Gorau Glas,
Castelmagno, Bitto della Valtellina, and Caciocavallo Podolico. The last is
particularly noteworthy for its rarity and expense. The cheese is laboriously
handmade and derives solely from the March-to-June milk of free range
Podoliche cattle who feast on blueberries, cornelian cherries, wild
strawberries, juniper and other treats that all impart their aromas to the
finished product.
Though quite well known, the rarest French cheese is said by
many to be Ossau-Iraty, an unpasteurized ewe’s milk semi-soft made by Basques.
Bleu de Termignon is also prestigious and very rare, said to come exclusively from eight
or ten Alpine cows of the mahogany Tarentais breed owned by a woman in her nineties.
Bitto, from the Italian Alps, typically retails for around $25 per pound but has
brought as much as twice that. It’s made at an altitude of at least 1500 meters (5000
feet) from milk drawn only between June and September. The wheels normally age for 70
days, but bon vivants have sought out and enjoyed Bitto as much as ten years
old.