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“Mary Had a Little Lamb” was published in 1830 by magazine editor Sarah Josepha Hale, based on a situation supposedly experienced by a girl named Mary Sawyer, later Mrs. Mary Tyler. The original had twenty-four lines, though it was quite repetitive and nowadays you normally see the eight-line abridgement shown below.

It was used as a test for the world’s first successful sound recording when Thomas Edison impressed it onto a tinfoil-wrapped cylinder with a sewing needle in late 18771. The poem’s brevity, universal familiarity, and richness of description have made it a favorite target for countless satirists, advertisers, and — of course — lipogrammarians.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school one day
Which was against the rule.
It made the children laugh and play
To see a lamb at school.

1. Leaving out the letter O:

Mary had a little lamb
The bleached and chalky kind.
And everywhere she went, the lamb
Was rarely left behind.

In lecture hall with her he went
The rules they withheld heed.
It sparked the children’s merriment —
A student lamb, indeed.

2. Eliminating W:

Mary had a little lamb
A pearly, milky sort.
And every place that Mary reigned
The lamb did too hold court.

He spanieled her to school one day
Against all rule and custom.
It made the children laugh and play
To see that lamb amongst ‘em.

3. Leaving out A and T:

Muriel owned one mini-sheep
Whose fur resembled gypsum.
Wherever she hiked, her sheep likewise
Did shuffle, hop, or skip some.

He followed her in school, of course
Proscribed by codes of rule.
Her friends convulsed in gleeful chorus
While eyeing her sheep in school.

4. Finally, using only the left hand letters on the keypad. Among other grave challenges this allowed only A and E for vowels:

Greta reared a weest ewe
A faded, carefree tatter.
As Greta darted, veered, traversed
Sweet Tweeder zested after.

Greta, dearest ewe de-fettered,
At Vassar C. was fêted.
Staffers fracassed, effervesced.
Egad, a decree evaded.

Next: Jack & Jill; Friends, Romans, Countrymen
© Peter Blinn

1. Edison and his crew did a lot of improvising, though. One version they recorded ran along the lines of “Mary has a silken gown, It is too tight by half/Who cares a damn for Mary’s lamb when they can see her calf?“ (I venture that people had a far lower excitement threshold back then.)

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